I am a doer. I get an idea and my brain can quickly run amuck with plans to make that idea a reality. If you are a type A person like me, you totally get this. If you are not, you are likely to want to tell me to shut up and slow down before my idea train runs you over. While I am naturally quick with an idea, I am not so naturally quick with the discipline to sit on my idea and work it out first. God has been transforming this personality trait for a long time. I'm half the A I used to be.
Years ago I had Psalm 46:10 tattooed on my arm. The first part of the verse, "Be still and know that I am God" is popular. It's one of those coffee cup verses that I fear is misunderstood and dare I say maybe misused. Next to the verse I have inked the Hebrew word "raphah" which is the word in the original Hebrew language that is translated as "Be still". This is one of those cases where knowing the original word matters for correct understanding. I assure you I am no scholar, I just have the compulsion to look this stuff up in the help tools that I use for study. A trusted commentary defines it as leaving matters to God. The word really means something more like relax, especially from work - and often in light of God's control. Guh! Control, another character trait that God must constantly align in me.
I have had the blessing of seeing God do some downright impossible things. A lot of things and often. Things I could never see a resolution for much less know how to make them happen. I am in the middle of a situation that pushes all the hot buttons for me. People I love, organizations I believe in, and the God I follow. When I tell you this one is over my paygrade I'm not exaggerating or declaring some false humility.
That coffee mug never has the second part of the verse - "I will be exalted in all the Earth". When you put the parts of the verse together you see a Divine equation. If I give control to God, then He is honored. So I ask myself…Do I want people to see what I can do or do I want people to see what God can do? As a person who truly wants to know God and make Him known the answer to that question is obvious.
This current hot button drama is a painful one. It has been unfolding for months. I have prayed endlessly. I have written emails that never left my brain and planned conversations that never left my mouth. I have held on to "Be still". Three days ago I stood in my yard and begged God again for resolution and asked Jesus to walk close to the ones who are hurting. I asked His Spirit to lead me in what He wanted me to say and restrain me from what He did not. In that space in my brain that only He can touch I heard Him say "Just shut up". Now before you think that His tone was condemning or sharp, I assure you it was not. His voice came with a wink and a smile. He knows me and He speaks the way I need to hear Him. The moment was a bit comical and full of Hope. He was assuring me that He was in control and if He needed me to do something, He'd tap me in.
Yesterday I got to see a piece of what God is doing. He reached His infinite almighty hand into our finite space and time and arranged schedules, appointments, and even a broken windshield wiper to orchestrate the next part of His plan. A plan that is always for restoration - It's who He is. I'm laughing and crying at the same time. He is so good!
My natural tendency will always be to DO something. But God is refining in me a supernatural tendency to BE something. Be His child, to be prayerful, to be hopeful and expectant - to "Be still" under His loving and sometimes humorous care and control. For a driver like me, that is freedom! I get to see things happen but I don't have to make them happen. I get to share the joy but the credit goes to God…just like the verse says.